He worked for 37 days cleaning and clearing his New York apartment.
The Salvation Army made six trips with their van to pick up his donated items. He doubled the local library's books on their shelves with his donations. He gave away watermellon peelers and automatic cat combers to friends and aunts. He sold his 2,800 falsetto records on ebay. He packaged random gifts to random people in the phone book and sent them 322 parcels with postage due.
Finally, there was a space of floor for C. to rest his tired body on. He had a dream that night lying on the floor and NOT several piles of magazines. He dreamt he found his bed.
Two more weeks went by as C. was still making good progress toward finding his bed and cleaning out his clutters. At two AM on a hot Wednesday, he found an old newspaper page under a football and cereal bowl in his kitchen. Had he had forgotten about it, He didn't remember seeing it. Perhaps a friend had left it as a joke and never told him. It read. . .
So, you live in a cramped cluttered apartment in Manhattan or Brooklyn. You have a super cheap, rent controlled lease and can't afford to move. We have your solution! Call Arrowroot Footers. For a small fee, we will expand the square feet of your apartment so you won't have to move. Call (the number was given here) without delay.
If he had been able to find the coffee maker and was less groggy, if it had been a less confusing hour of the day, he wouldn't have dialed. But it wasn't.
A gruff, smoker's voice answered the phone. It seemed C. had woken the guy in this godless hour. "Hello, hello. Who's there?"
(There's more, but you'll have to ask me.)
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